


very original newsies groupchat

by x_endmii_x



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Bisexual Jack Kelly, Gay David Jacobs, HISPANIC JACK KELLY, Help, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Jewish David Jacobs, Multi, Trans Racetrack Higgins, also anger issues, bi albert, bi boots, bi elmer, bi katherine, bi morris, bi mush, bi smalls, bi swifty, blink has depression and anxiety, crutchie is also gay, finch and morris keep their relationship a secret, gay blink, gay bumlets, gay finch, gay itey, gay racetrack, gay snitch, groupchat au, itey has anxiety, jack has depression but keeps it hidden, jewish les, jewish sarah, jojo is hyperactive, lesbian sarah, morris has anxiety, mtf trans buttons, mtf trans jojo, pan buttons, pan henry, pan jojo, pan romeo, pan specs, pan spot, pan tommy boy, probably some normal written chapters will happen, roughly based on true events, snitch is hyperactive, spot has vitilgo, straight les, straight oscar, straight sniper
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-07-27 20:21:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20051989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/x_endmii_x/pseuds/x_endmii_x
Summary: [Speedykiddo] invited [SantaGay], [PegLegCharlie], [Mom], [Burglar], [ChickenNotHen], [StickyFellow], [Slop], [OneEyedLouis], [Shortass], [FailingHomeEc:(], [ImpossibleName], [Shortstock], [HereForTheStory], [Aunt], [BullyOne], [BullyTwo], [Berd], [ThomasTheTrain], [BlindedSamuel], [NotDesperate], [DoraTheExplora], [SpeedyChild], [BumBumBum], [Bang], [Tiny], [AnotherItalian], and [TellingOnYou] the a new chat[Speedykiddo] renamed the chat [I'm prepared][Burglar]: alright wheres the memes





	1. race makes a mistake

**Author's Note:**

> lmao i can't writw  
[Speedykiddo]: Race  
[SantaGay]: Jack  
[PegLegCharlie]: Crutchie  
[Mom]: Davey  
[Burglar]: Albert  
[ChickenNotHen]: Henry  
[StickyFellow]: Elmer  
[Slop]: Mush  
[OneEyedLouis]: Blink  
[Shortass]: Spot  
[FailingHomeEc:(]: Buttons  
[ImpossibleName]: Jojo  
[Shortstock]: Les  
[HereForTheStory]: Katherine  
[Aunt]: Sarah  
[BullyOne]: Oscar  
[BullyTwo]: Morris  
[Berd]: Finch  
[ThomasTheTrain]: Tommy Boy  
[BlindedSamuel]: Specs  
[NotDesperate]: Romeo  
[DoraTheExplora]: Boots  
[SpeedyChild]: Swifty  
[BumBumBum]: Bumlets  
[Bang]: Sniper  
[Tiny]: Smalls  
[AnotherItalian]: Itey  
[TellingOnYou]: Snitch

[Speedykiddo] invited [SantaGay], [PegLegCharlie], [Mom], [Burglar], [ChickenNotHen], [StickyFellow], [Slop], [OneEyedLouis], [Shortass], [FailingHomeEc:(], [ImpossibleName], [Shortstock], [HereForTheStory], [Aunt], [BullyOne], [BullyTwo], [Berd], [ThomasTheTrain], [BlindedSamuel], [NotDesperate], [DoraTheExplora], [SpeedyChild], [BumBumBum], [Bang], [Tiny], [AnotherItalian], and [TellingOnYou] the a new chat

[Speedykiddo] renamed the chat [I'm prepared]

[Burglar]: alright wheres the memes

[BlindedSamuel]: tf is this

[SantaGay]: dont swear samuel mom will get mad

[Speedykiddo]: alb ive already sent you all my memes

[Mom]: I swear if you guys call me mom one more time I will personally send you to hell

[Speedykiddo]: i said i was prepared mom

[Shortass]: ok whoever set my name as this i will find you and kill you

[BullyOne]: why am I here

[BullyTwo]: Yea wth??

[Speedykiddo]: it was alberts idea spottie

[Shortass]: ALBERT also dont call me spottie unless you wanna go to hell with albert

[Burglar]: race why :(

[Speedykiddo]: I wouldnt mind that

[Slop]: Guys it's 3am

[SantaGay]: yea i was summoning demons guys

[Mom]: You are right next to me idiot

[PegLegCharlie]: I wanna summon demons can I come over

[SantaGay]: its a mental thing mom and ofc crutch

[Burglar]: holy shit spots at my window

[Shortass]: i told you i would send you to hell

[Speedykiddo]: spottie dont hurt best boi :(

[SantaGay]: gay

[PegLegCharlie]: gay

[Slop]: gay

[BlindedSamuel]: gay

[BullyOne]: gay

[BullyTwo]: gay

[Shortass]: its shocking how you two arent dating

[Mom]: Ok I agree in this one situation

[Speedykiddo]: ..

[Speedykiddo]: i hate you all

[Burglar]: :(

[Speedykiddo]: alb im never forgetting the one time you played four hundred rick astleys

[BullyTwo]: what

[Burglar]: it was only fifty asshole

[Shortass]: also let me in

[Burglar]: take me out to dinner first

[Berd]: Spot x Albert vibes anyone??

[BullyTwo]: i know why im here now

[BullyOne]: why??

[BullyTwo]: wait shit i didnt mean to say that

[BlindedSamuel]: ??

{Slop]: are you not telling us something morris?

[BullyOne]: morris, kitchen

[SantaGay]: ooooooo

[BullyTwo]: no

[BullyOne]: do it or else im getting spot

[BullyTwo]: ..

[Shortass]: ok but only after i kill albert

[BullyTwo]: fine

[SantaGay]: spill when you get back

[BullyTwo]: he better not

[Burglar]: ok but can someone help me spots trying to get in my room

[SantaGay]: Race go save your bf

[Speedykiddo]: after morris can you go after jack?

[Shortass]: why me

[BlindedSamuel]: since your the only one able to murder someone successfully

[SantaGay]: where are the other like fifteen people

[PegLegCharlie]: i mean considering its 3am there probably trying to summon demons too

[Burglar]: SHIT HE GOT IN


	2. literal hell??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I reread the first chapter and thought it was a bit messy so I tried to edit this one a bit more-
> 
> Just the first chapter continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Speedykiddo]: Race  
[SantaGay]: Jack  
[PegLegCharlie]: Crutchie  
[Mom]: Davey  
[Burglar]: Albert  
[ChickenNotHen]: Henry  
[StickyFellow]: Elmer  
[Slop]: Mush  
[OneEyedLouis]: Blink  
[Shortass]: Spot  
[FailingHomeEc:(]: Buttons  
[ImpossibleName]: Jojo  
[Shortstock]: Les  
[HereForTheStory]: Katherine  
[Aunt]: Sarah  
[BullyOne]: Oscar  
[BullyTwo]: Morris  
[Berd]: Finch  
[ThomasTheTrain]: Tommy Boy  
[BlindedSamuel]: Specs  
[NotDesperate]: Romeo  
[DoraTheExplora]: Boots  
[SpeedyChild]: Swifty  
[BumBumBum]: Bumlets  
[Bang]: Sniper  
[Tiny]: Smalls  
[AnotherItalian]: Itey  
[TellingOnYou]: Snitch

[Im prepared]

SantaGay]: oh shit spot actually did it

[Shortass]: dont worry im only making him watch the 2016 ghostbusters

[Speedykiddo]: you wouldnt

[Burglar]: someone help me pleasE

[PegLegCharlie]: omg he did

[NotDesperate]: why am i waking up at 3am to see four billion notifications on my phone about albert dying by 2016 ghostbusters

[Mom]: Oh no, Mini Jack is here

[Slop]: crutchies been here the whole time dave

[PegLegCharlie]: fuck u mush >:(

[OneEyedLouis]: excuse me thats my job

[Speedykiddo]: oi keep i pg13 we have an almost ten year old here

[Mom]: WAIT LES IS HERE

[Shortstock]: Hello Brother :)

[Mom]: GUYS

[Speedykiddo]: srry mom i forgot i added him pls forgive me :((

[Burglar]: HELP

[SantaGay]: oh yes we were caught up in what rating this chat deserves sorry albert

[Burglar]: OK BUT JUST HELP ME

[Shortass]: nope ur watching every second alb

[OneEyedLouis]: but really if anyone but me tries to smash mush i will come and kill you

[SantaGay]: i mean mush is a pass in my book

[PegLegCharlie]: personally, smash

[Shortass]: pass

[Speedykiddo]: smash

[NotDesperate]: smash

[BlindedSamuel]: ro you basically smash everyone you look at

[NotDesperate]: look at the username sweetheart

[BlindedSamuel]: im no ones sweetheart hoemeo

[Albert]: pass and seriously someone heLP

[NotDesperate]: wait hold on specs is single

[Speedykiddo]: im comin alb calm ur tits

[SantaGay]: i think race is just using this as an excuse to get a free trip to alberts bed ;))) also yes specs is very single

[BlindedSamuel]: :(

[Speedykiddo]: he has to buy me dinner first

[BullyOne]: were back

[NotDesperate]: yessssss

[SantaGay]: Spill

[BullyTwo]: oscar agreed to not tell anyone so fuck off kelly

[Mom]: No swearing, Les is here

[Shortstack]: Hi :)

[BullyOne]: oh no young children

[Shortass]: why is les even up at 3am dave?

[Mom]: Hold on I'll be back

[Shortstack]: Darn it

[BullyOne]: rip Les

[BullyTwo]: press f to pay respects

[Speedykiddo]: f

[SantaGay]: f

[PegLegCharlie]: f

[Burglar]: f and hurry up rACE

[Slop]: f

[OneEyedLouis]: f

[Speedykiddo]: fine you needy shit

[Shortass]: f

[Shortstock]: f

[BullyOne]: f

[BullyTwo]: you cant pay respects to yourself les

[Berd]: f

[BlindedSamuel]: f

[Shortstack]: Oh

[NotDesperate]: f


	3. yall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Speedykiddo]: Race  
[SantaGay]: Jack  
[PegLegCharlie]: Crutchie  
[Mom]: Davey  
[Burglar]: Albert  
[ChickenNotHen]: Henry  
[StickyFellow]: Elmer  
[Slop]: Mush  
[OneEyedLouis]: Blink  
[Shortass]: Spot  
[FailingHomeEc:(]: Buttons  
[ImpossibleName]: Jojo  
[Shortstock]: Les  
[HereForTheStory]: Katherine  
[Aunt]: Sarah  
[BullyOne]: Oscar  
[BullyTwo]: Morris  
[Berd]: Finch  
[ThomasTheTrain]: Tommy Boy  
[BlindedSamuel]: Specs  
[NotDesperate]: Romeo  
[DoraTheExplora]: Boots  
[SpeedyChild]: Swifty  
[BumBumBum]: Bumlets  
[Bang]: Sniper  
[Tiny]: Smalls  
[AnotherItalian]: Itey  
[TellingOnYou]: Snitch

[Berd] to [BullyTwo]

[Berd]: so oscar knows now?

[BullyTwo]: yeah im sorry

[Berd]: there isnt anything to be sorry about

[Berd]: everyone is going to figure it out sooner or later lmao

[BullyTwo]: you have a point

[Berd]: im not going to force you to tell anyone

[Berd]: but i feel like its better if we just tell everyone

[BullyTwo]: i dont wanna tell anyone else right now

[Berd]: but we will have to tell them eventually

[BullyTwo]: i know

[Berd]: ill wait till youre ready

[BullyTwo]: thanks

[Berd]: no problem mo

[i'm prepared]

[StickyFellow]: why is spot at alberts house forcing him to watch the ghostbusters 2016 movie?

[Shortass]: JUST LOOK AT MY USERNAME

[StickyFellow]: rip albert

[Burglar]: well race is here now so its slightly better

[BullyOne]: its really getting tiring watching you two pine over each other yknow

[SantaGay]: for once i agree with oscar

[Mom]: Race please remove Les from this chat

[BlindedSamuel]: Les is probably the only one keeping us from swearing our asses off so no

[OneEyedLouis]: for once specs is kinda right

[BlindedSamuel]: excuse me im probably the most right in this group

[PegLegCharlie]: specs you once tried using a knife to eat soup

[BlindedSamuel]: its not my fault the school doesnt have enough spoons crutchie

[SantaGay]: ok but why do specs, crutchie, and blinks usernames sound like names from a bad pirate movie

[OneEyedLouis]: excuse me our usernames are sheer perfection

[PegLegCharlie]: i mean mushs username is slop so ours arent that bad

[Slop]: UH

[BlindedSamuel]: dont even get me started on chad brad trad sad flad vlad mad lad and all the other ads

[Slop]: hold up who are they

[BlindedSamuel]: drama club kids

[OneEyedLouis]: satan spawners

[PegLegCharlie]: those kids that were screaming hamilton songs in the hallway and almost got suspended

[NotDesperate]: i wanna meet these kids

[FailingHomeEc:(]: I wanna be these kids

[SantaGay]: HOLD UP

[SantaGay]: HOW IS BUTTONS FAILING HOME EC?!?!1

[FailingHomeEc:(]: the teacher sucks

[FailingHomeEc:(]: I was gone for one day and she expects me to know all the stuff we reviewed that one day

[FailingHomeEc:(]: SHE DIDNT EVEN POST THE STUFF ON GOOGLE CLASSROOM

[BlindedSamuel]: this is why I take computer science

[Mom]: Alright who is this teacher of yours Buttons

[FailingHomeEc:(]: Ms. Egberd

[SantaGay]: no wonder shes still single

[Mom]: I'll be back

[StickyFellow]: GO MOM

[FailingHomeEc:(]: DAVEY COME BACK

[SantaGay]: dont worry me and crutchie are with him we will be fineeeee

[FailingHomeEc:(]: damnit guys

[ThomasTheTrain]: who dares interrupt my meme watching session

[Shortass]: race did

[Shortass]: if u wanna help me kill him just come to alberts house were having a blast

[Burglar]: DONT SACRIFICE YOURSELF TOMMY IT ISNT WORTH IT

[ThomasTheTrain]: coming

[Burglar]: TOMMY NO

[Speedykiddo]: tommy stay home

[ThomasTheTrain]: screw yall

[SantaGay]: yall

[PegLegCharlie]: yall 

[Speedykiddo]: yall

[Burglar]: yall

[StickyFellow]: yall

[Slop]: yall

[OneEyedLouis]: yall

[Shortass]: yall

[FailingHomeEc:(]: yall

[BullyOne]: yall

[BullyTwo]: yall

[Berd]: yall

[ThomasTheTrain]: yall

[BlindedSamuel]: yall

[NotDesperate]: yall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall


	4. singles squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> race creates the singles squad and hamilton references are made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Speedykiddo]: Race  
[SantaGay]: Jack  
[PegLegCharlie]: Crutchie  
[Mom]: Davey  
[Burglar]: Albert  
[ChickenNotHen]: Henry  
[StickyFellow]: Elmer  
[Slop]: Mush  
[OneEyedLouis]: Blink  
[Shortass]: Spot  
[FailingHomeEc:(]: Buttons  
[ImpossibleName]: Jojo  
[Shortstock]: Les  
[HereForTheStory]: Katherine  
[Aunt]: Sarah  
[BullyOne]: Oscar  
[BullyTwo]: Morris  
[Berd]: Finch  
[ThomasTheTrain]: Tommy Boy  
[BlindedSamuel]: Specs  
[NotDesperate]: Romeo  
[DoraTheExplora]: Boots  
[SpeedyChild]: Swifty  
[BumBumBum]: Bumlets  
[Bang]: Sniper  
[Tiny]: Smalls  
[AnotherItalian]: Itey  
[TellingOnYou]: Snitch

[Speedykiddo] started a new chat with [Burglar], [Shortstock], [BullyOne], [BullyTwo], [Berd], [ThomasTheTrain], [BlindedSamuel], [NotDesperate], and [DoraTheExplora]

[Speedykiddo] renamed the chat to [Singles squad]

[ThomasTheTrain]: wow race no need to rub it in

[BullyOne]: ok who agrees the only reason race is here is because hes too chicken to ask out albert

[BullyTwo]: yes

[Berd]: yes

[ThomasTheTrain]: yes

[BlindedSamuel]: yes

[NotDesperate]: yes

[Speedykiddo]: nah its just because im lonely

[BlindedSamuel]: ok but why is romeo here isnt he dating anna

[NotDesperate]: nah

[Speedykiddo]: i mean he flirts with everyone so he kinda has to stay single

[NotDesperate]: not really

[Speedykiddo]: admit it

[NotDesperate]: ew no get ur lonely hands away from me

[Burglar]: wtf

[ThomasTheTrain]: date race or death

[Burglar]: ill take death

[Speedykiddo]: :(

[Burglar]: stop

[Speedykiddo]: never

[ThomasTheTrain]: darn

[Burglar]: RACE STOP GIVING ME THAT LOOK

[Speedykiddo]: >:)

[ThomasTheTrain]: yeah we'll let yall bond

[BullyOne]: yall

[I'm prepared]

[BumBumBum]: yo

[PegLegCharlie]: aLexAndEr

[BumBumBum]: whos that

[BlindedSamuel]: ALEXANDER

[NotDesperate]: look around look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now

[OneEyedLouis]: helplesss

[Slop]: they are asking me to lead

[SantaGay]: look around

[PegLegCharlie]: isnt this enough

[BumBumBum]: i dont understand

[BlindedSamuel]: damnit bumlets you messed it up

[SpeedyChild]: OI

[BumBumBum]: swifty :D

[SpeedyChild]: INSULT BUMLETS ONE MORE TIME AND ILL FIND YOU

[NotDesperate]: MOMMM

[Mom]: What

[BlindedSamuel]: gasp

[NotDesperate]: gasp

[PegLegCharlie]: mother has answered our calls

[SantaGay]: this is a truly wonderful day

[NotDesperate]: oh yeah swifty is being mean :(

[Mom]: And what do you want me to do about this

[NotDesperate]: ground him

[Mom]: Romeo I can't do that

[NotDesperate]: why

[PegLegCharlie]: yeah why mom

[Mom]: I wouldn't mind one less child

[NotDesperate]: WHAT

[NotDesperate]: DONT DO THIS

[PegLegCharlie]: thats dark

[Burglar]: i regret the past 2hrs and 14mins of my life

[Shortass]: you better

[StickyFellow]: oh

[Shortass]: hi elmer

[StickyFellow]: hi spot

[BullyOne]: ew

[Berd]: ok but who remembers how we got the spelmer ship to sail

[SantaGay]: yessssss

[PegLegCharlie]: YES

[BlindedSamuel]: ofc

[BullyTwo]: no

[Berd]: YOU DONT

[Slop]: omg

[Berd]: well dear morris let me tell you a story

[Berd]: so on the orchestra/band/chorus trip we suddenly learned that spottie here was a tad scared of heights

[Shortass]: STOP NO

[Berd]: so on the rollercoaster elmer held his hand

[Shortass]: NO FINCH STOP NOW

[PegLegCharlie]: and the rest is history

[Shortass]: ..

[StickyFellow]: dont murder finch

[Speedykiddo]: ah welp spots coming for finch

[StickyFellow]: SPOT GET UR ASS OVER HERE

[Shortass]: NO

[BlindedSamuel]: *that one part of nonstop begins playing*

[Shortass]: rEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

**Author's Note:**

> woah kinda a cliffhanger


End file.
